what do you think of my paper?
is their any needed editing?
(the theme we had to follow was wow)
Wow
There is only one word that can describe how I feel, one word that can mean a million things. In this case, enthusiasm, elation, and thrill. My hair flows behind me like a soft cloud. Although silent, all senses are stimulated. The sound of peaceful stillness is all you need to hear. All of my worries seem to float away as I enter this new state of mind. As I surge through the translucent water, I see many stunning things: Bright blue coral, vivid fishes, and other gorgeous sea life. It almost looks illusory. I stop to gaze at the wonderful sight before me. There is nothing more beautiful than this. I wish I could stay here all day, but unfortunately I can’t so I continue on my journey. A large school of fish rush past me. I watch them flutter through the water like a butterfly flutters through the air. Then, I can hardly believe what I am seeing. Off in the distance I see the faint image of a sea turtle. My heart soars with excitement. To avoid scaring it, I stand motionless and silent. Multiple shades of green color the turtle’s shell. It slowly glides around the ocean like a hawk. I cannot even begin counting all the sea life. Fishes of all colors and sizes swarm like bees, eels are tucked into small nooks in the sand, and even dolphins jump in and out of the water. A beautiful coral reef lies 10 yards in front of me. It has a magnificent array of color. Orange spongy coral, hard red coral, I felt like I was standing in front of a rainbow. Small and large starfish cover the reef with colorful polka dots. Millions of fish franticly swim through mazes of algae. This is such a wonderful place.
Now I must leave and head back for the surface. With kicking legs and paddling arms, I begin my ascend. Half way up, I look down in disappointment. Although I don’t want to leave, I must. The surface begins to come in clearer now. I can see beams of sunlight glistening in the water. With tired arms and legs I slowly hop back into the boat. There is only one word to describe how I feel while scuba diving…wow.
my hair flows behind me, like a light, soft cloud blowing through the sky.
all my worries seem to float away, like the cloud as i enter this new state of mind. As i surge through the translucent water, I see many stunning things: bright blue coral, …
WOW, the feeling i get when i hear a really good poem thing!! haha but yah that was really good A+!!
An amazing piece of art. I Loved it, I totally had some imagination goin’ on in my noggin!